pagan-aeshryver: “ Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that’s only part of it. We are also active in […]

yellowqiant: i’m 11/10 sure someone already did this but @sealandish

mrcomatoseoverthr: shuckl: wildy0ungbeautiful: shuckl: could i pay someone to take over my body who actually knows how to look after it so they can like. make me healthy again and then let me take over once i’m fit n healthy You mean a personal trainer and a nutritionist no i mean some sort of supernatural […]

trin0dinz: Scared this Reaper for replying to his voice-line

Practice Safe Sex. Tie your partner down to the bed so they don’t fall off.

sgtgrunt0331: We wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt lol

jojoshojo: gf: “bae come over” me: “i cant im escorting the payload” gf: “but its high noon” me:

krimsons: mercy rez before: *flies in with gold sparkles, rose petals fall behind* HEROES NEVER DIE!! *heavenly music played by little cupids with trumpets, people applaud, some are crying* mercy rez now: *puts cigarette down for a second* get up, bitch

mister-kh: Y’all: I love that the KakaSaku fandom is so chill (: Me: [turning away from my life-sized sasuke voodoo doll engulfed in flames] Me: we’re what

ghostantine: John Constantine + Bad Occult Advice

fefiri: Based on a scene from Dirk Gently’s Hollistic Detective Agency… She doesn’t know how to not shoot at things